versus

I really have no idea why I'm writing what I'm writing in the manner I'm writing. Basically this is a result of the brainwaves that were in my head for a long time.

If u think there is any specific point u didn't get, ask me n I'll try n explain.

If u get nothing n still want to, ask in parts please. :)

Love vs Arrangement vs Force

Personal life vs Family reputation

Personal fears vs Elders' Experience

Personal experience vs Elders' fears

Young vs Old

Children vs Parents

Possibility vs Impossibility

Positive vs Negative

Negative vs Positive

Positive vs Positive

Negative vs Negative

Months of practical vs Ages of theory

Early vs Sudden

Logic vs Emotions

Emotions vs Logic

Pragmatic vs Traditional

the list actually goes on...

Why do we think so much?

I generally go to the Forum mall in an auto. That is, whenever I come to Bangalore. It takes Rs 65 to 80, depending on where I start. For the last two times, and that is when I went alone, I gave almost Rs 65-70 to the autowallas.

This time my Jijaji introduced me to a new option by telling me the number of bus going from home to the Majestic. (although its an altogether different matter that I always come from Majestic to home by bus only, I never cared to notice the bus number as I know the platform there)

So I reached the 18th cross bus stand crossing the cricket ground in front of the home and caught bus number 252 to Majestic. There were no seats in the bus and I was standing all the way. No big deal, actually.

Reaching Majestic, I asked a conductor where to get a bus to Kormangala. He told it was just in front. I reached the place he had pointed towards and with my aadha-adhura knowledge of Kannada (only written, I can't speak a word, except beda) I read it was for Kormangala only. Getting nearer I realized I could read in English also as the small lists of stoppages were bilingual.

As soon as the bus number 171 came, people gathered at the gate. The passengers from inside the bus came out and then, I know I was inside the bus, and somehow found a seat.

Almost 5 minutes later, the bus was full of crowd and there was hardly place to stand. Just next to my seat there was an elderly person standing with a bag in his hand. I'm not very good at guessing age of people but he was not less than 50. I cannot say whether he was below 60 or even more than that.

Seeing such an aged person standing beside me, I felt bad. I thought I should offer him my seat as it was not a big deal for me to go standing in a city bus. I do it half the time I travel in city buses. But I was thinking, and thinking. At least ten minutes I was thinking before I actually offered him my seat and he asked me something in Kannada, most probably it was if I was about to get down. I didn't answer properly, blabbered just something in a sign of no, and stood up.

All the way I was thinking i had done something good, all the more so when I was feeling a bit tired, as the journey took more than 45 minutes I think. But I do not know what and why I was thinking when I was sitting.

But later, when I was standing there was one question in my mind. Why do we think so much while we do some good work?

PS: I would also like to know if you have the same thing applicable to yourself. Please tell if it is so. And if you find any reasons for that, what they are. Thanks.

Talk Addiction

Well, you must have heard of the cellphone addiction. Cellphone addiction was something that kept people sticked to their cellphones. Be it games, SMS, or calls. But have you heard of people losing some sense because of cellphones, the way people get high on alcohol and drugs. In case you have not, just observe a bit more.

Yes, there is something in talks. When talking on phone, people do things which they generally don't. Some 4-5 days ago, when I was walking with a friend, I saw a girl with a long leaf of the tree she stood under, breaking the leaf into small pieces, in front of the whole lot of people standing there. I asked my friend what that girl was trying to do. And she told me the girl was talking on phone. That was when I noticed the cellphone sticked pressed between her neck and shoulder. 5 minutes later, the girl had two leaves in her hand, and I could hear a friend of hers shouting in front, "Hey X, I'm gonna tell people you're doing deforestation here!"

Today, when I was coming back from food court after having some plain dosas (3 to be precise) and a coffee, sort of a bit high as I could feel I was sleepy and had taken a coffee and had started feeling lonely (a normal effect of having a strong coffee on me), I saw a girl who looked a bit different, to be true, a bit like the crazy girl from the SASTRA's play in Riviera (maybe because I couldn't see the face of either due to their hair falling on face, the striking similarity). I was myself feeling a bit high but the girl was visibly high as I could see her walking on the fine line made near the footpath. The road was of course empty but the way she was walking made me feel something was wrong with her. And once again I noticed a cellphone in her hand she was talking on, walking unconscious of people watching her, at least me, if nobody else.

In fact, I have found even myself doing things which I would not do otherwise, while on phone. I remember walking on a pipe once (one pretty big in size, horizontal, over a big, clean drain inside my hostel area, and of course, not tough or risky to walk on) which I still look upon and think how I did that.

Actually this is pretty interesting. Although it may not be considered good by many people, in the world today where people do not do things they want to do and where everyone is afraid of bringing outside the child sitting inside themselves, this is something that makes people do they really want to do, things they do not even realize they want to do. And the world outside too watches. Amazed.

Jaago India

India has over 180 million cellphone users and 200 million people without drinking water. We are a young nation with over 55% of the population under the age of 30, yet 49% of our children under the age of 5 are underweight. We produce the largest number of engineering graduates every year through over 2500 colleges; but over 3000 schools do not have teachers. And the list goes on...

These are the starting lines of the official website of 'Jaago India' that is a trust promoted by the tata tea. 'Jaago India' "intends to create an an online community for the awakening and empowerment of the youth." The site has its discussion board of a different type in which topics are already present there and anyone can go and post one's own views there. Of course there is a column where we can add new topics.

The site bosts of big names in its advisory panel and is probably a brainchild of Sheetal talwar and Bhavna Talwar, the producer-director duo who made the much acclaimed, thought provoking movie Dharm that reached even Cannes.

The site talks on topics like corruption, illiteracy, poverty, child labour and female infanticide and has a collection of figures that can force you to think about these problems but still finds itself unable to find solutions to many of these problems.

Basically the site seems to be having a small number of members yet and there are many things that need to be put into order to make the effort a success.

For now, all I can say is that the step of starting JaagoIndia has been taken with a good intention and it would be good if you look at the site once, and also do something positive if possible.

The link is: http://www.jaagoindia.org/

How do 70 yrs Look?

Its not been 22 complete years since I'm on the earth. And of the time, starting 6 or so years have been among the once I do not remember a thing about, of course. Just 16 years, and when I think about it, I feel like I have lived a lifetime. Thinking of it, I wonder how do people feel when they live lives of 50-60-70 years. There are number of things I can exactly recall from my past now, even as old as those of the very early '90s. And when I think of them and keep on thinking, it seems to be a never ending chain of thoughts.

I can still go back into the past when in 1991 when I was seeing our old home was being pulled down, to build a new one. I can remember the incidents from my school from class second and thereafter. I remember my friends in school, and teachers. And the prizes I got there. And the beatings. I can exactly tell u when a teacher who had to punish almost the entire class for not completing the homework using the 'kammach' on my hands first because I was just one line short of completion. And the freedom fighter who came to our school on Independence Day, when I was in class VII, and got so impressed with me hosting the program that he sent a book for me the next day.

There have been milestones. Academically (looo...oong back), professionally, personally. Small ones and big ones. Big ones looking small, and small ones looking big. There have been happy times and sad. And those when I didn't know how to feel, to be happy or sad. Probably one such biggest incident was the day when I got my job in TCS. I should have been happy for the job, but I was not. I was more sad than happy because my roommate had not been selected.
There have been people. My family. And friends. And not just them. A family of four people, my parents, my grandma, and me. And then my 8 year younger brother. And then an extension with my retired taauji with taaiji. And then only him, and then, only his room. The room, which had tenants from '91 to '96. First a fighting couple with two small children. And then a singing uncle with his wife and a little daughter for almost an year. The time when probably for the first timed a sad song touched me, probably because of a child's voice there. Aditya Narayan. From Akele hum Akele tum.

And then there happened Kota. Me, out of home. The times I even cried feeling home sick. Well, doesn't happen now. But still, among all the things, I never felt that homesickness was foolish. Kota came with a bunch of new friends. And a new life. A new freedom in life. And new responsibilities. I didn't perform extremely good or something, but the results were not bad. Finally I got a rank where I missed a favorite college of mine by a difference of 2 ranks and reached VIT. A place against which my mom had strict instructions. But I had to be here. Had to have all these people I live with. With the Mohalla. And girls among my friends, for the first time, ever since 1995. That was the last I had been friends with a girl before. Well, life in VIT was something I could write a book on. But there won't be many people reading it. Because college changes you a lot, but my life wasn't half as interesting as that of Chetan Bhagat.

Still, things changed like the roads of VIT. Well, those in my college understand. Its a place where a new road is constructed every two months, and an old one is given some new look almost every fortnight it seems. The person who used to wear a collar button always, almost my identity once, now walks on roads with sleeves up almost always. The view from outside changed. And so did the inner side. The person who used to be tensed like anything for the smallest thing, became the 'fark nahi padta' demon for many friends. And not to forget, a class topper of 12 years became a third man, just a few inches away from the boundary always, be it pass marks or qualifying attendance. Still, its exam tomorrow and having walked on roads for almost 2 hours, I am writing this stuff for more than an hour now.

Well, what I wonder is, there are thousands of such things in my mind, and more. This is what I have lived in these 22 years, or 16, by my calculation. Then how much are the coming years gonna bring me, and how would it look like when I would see my past, if I live past 50, 60 or more.


Probably there is just one answer to it. Keep watching!